Singaporean supermarkets don’t sell chewing gum, but they do sell Blu Tack and mint leaves which is pretty much the same thing once you get used to it. The infamous ban of 1992 prohibits the sale, importation and manufacture of chewing gum, but so long as I only buy one packet of each at a time, the supermarket cashiers don’t suspect a thing.
But before you get to the cashier, you have to decide which supermarket to visit in the first place. In the UK, this is a decision equivalent to choosing a school for your children or which breed of dog to buy: it defines your position in society.
Waitrose is the poshest, so much so that #overheardinWaitrose is a British meme, as in ‘Darling, do we need parmesan for both houses?’ Next comes Sainsbury’s, then Tesco, then Asda and Morrisons. It’s like having different denominations of the same religion; we’re all worshipping the same God, but only in the right kind of company.
Choosing a Singaporean supermarket is therefore made easier by the fact that they stock own-brand products from British supermarkets: Cold Storage has Waitrose, RedMart has Sainsbury’s and FairPrice has Morrisons. It’s as if the British class system is being surreptitiously imposed via fast-moving consumer goods (although in Singapore snobbery is less about parmesan and more about luxury tote bags).
Apart from RedMart, which is online only, supermarkets are invariably located in malls, along with almost everything else from dentists to karaoke bars. In our local mall, i12 (pronounced “I want to”), the Cold Storage is next to a Hockhua Tonic store, which allows you to buy ‘essence of black-boned chicken’ and ‘beauty monkey snow jelly’ if u12.
Inside the supermarket is much more familiar territory, at least to Western eyes. There are the same trolleys being pushed by the same biddable consumers. There are the same bakery counters and build-your-own salad bars. There are the same rows of canned food to remind you that Spam is just as inexplicable as beauty monkey snow jelly. In fact, they may very well be the same thing.
However, there are some key differences between supermarkets in Singapore and Britain. Microwaveable meals are almost non-existent here, for example. Not because the sale, importation and manufacture of microwaves is banned, as far as I know, but because Singapore’s ready meal of choice is instant noodles. There are entire aisles dedicated to them, in a giddying array flavours such as Korean Army Stew flavour Cup Noodle, with its intriguing promise of ‘lots of ingredients!’
Then there’s pricing. Almost everything is more expensive in Singapore than Britain, but in the fruit and veg section relative prices are opposite. Button mushrooms are more expensive than shiitake and apples are more expensive than bananas, which is perhaps no surprise when banana trees grow freely on the street. Milk is more expensive than coconut water for much the same reason (I am aware that milk doesn’t come from trees, just for the record). British specialities such as sausages cost way more than the sum of their parts, while local staples like fresh fish costs as little as eight dollars for three yellow croackers.
Seeing bargain buckets of fresh catch plonked in front of the bakery aisle is one of the great joys of supermarket shopping in Singapore, even though I wouldn’t know what to do with one Yellow Croacker, let alone three.
Singapore is Westernised in so many ways (none of which I am complaining about) but the local character is ever-present. In many ways, this gives Singapore the best of both worlds. For expats, there are all the usual comforts, with enough parmesan for all your houses, alongside wonderfully unfamiliar and intriguing new possibilities such as Korean Army Stew, and Blu Tack and mint leaves.
I reach the counter to check out. One packet of each at a time. They’ll never know.
Blue tack is edible? 🤔